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Showing posts from January, 2017

coming undone

The beautiful '62 sounds of Tony Bennett on vinyl fill my room as my shoulders groove to the trumpets. The classic music help me destress from what felt like an overwhelmingly emotional day. I'm embarrassed to say this, but I got my first speeding ticket EVER back in December and this morning I was in the process of getting it taken cared of. As I pulled into the quiet parking lot of the looming court house, my anxiety levels deepened. Along with the increase in my heart rate, my mind conjured up old repressed issues that stayed with my throughout the day.
I haven't had a gray day like today in a long time. I've been incandescently happy lately, that the heaviness of my thoughts came down on me hard. Do you ever have days like this? I used to. I used to have back-to-back days of shadowy emotions that kept me hoarded in my room, afraid that my sadness was contagious. Although my usual playlist of upbeat happy songs helped, it wasn't enough to keep my mind occupied …

the big 25

I was never an admirer when it came to my birthday's. I didn't like all the unnecessary attention on me. I rather enjoy the quiet glory of shining, like a beautiful wallflower glistening in the sunlight. 
My life until this point has felt constricted, tight with the expectations of what others want and hope for me. I have high expectations for myself, but the difference is is that I know myself and where I'm at in my life and how and where I want to be in the future. It's been a challenge not to compare myself to others, feeling disheartened knowing that I'm not at similar statuses as them. But when I reflect on my own journey these past several years, I have come such a long way. And I am proud of where I am and the woman that I have become. A year ago, my life was searching for something that I wasn't ready for yet. A couple of months of maturity and discovery, I feel more pronounced and strong in my ability to achieve what I want.
Turning the heavy mileston…

expectations for the new year

Nineteen days into the new year and I get horribly sick and four days later I'm stuck in bed having difficulties breathing through my nose. I sound like a walrus trying to learn English. Besides the critical status of my health, I want to welcome myself back to the blogging world. Welcome back, Kat! Whoo! We've missed ya!

Prior to this post, I initially wanted to write about my new year's plans and discuss my goals and resolutions for the year. Halfway through writing about that, I stopped and asked myself, "Is this what I really want to talk about? Do I want to write about what every other blog is writing about too?" For a long time, I've compared my blog to other blogs, waiting for the day that I get as many followers and subscribers as them. But ultimately, that was my downfall and I would go on these long hiatuses and start over every couple of months. Now that I have gained better perspective on the matter, I'm reading to jump back in with a fresh n…