Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from April, 2016

the company we keep

Friendships are key foundations of who we are as a person. We're all trying to find souls that vibe on the same frequency as us, trying to find the same level of weirdness and humor. They say your friends are who shape your personality, not your parents. I believe this as truth. If I didn't go through certain friendships and keep the company that I have now, I don't think I would be the same person I am today. I am grateful for the souls in my karass and I love them unconditionally.

But sometimes friendship isn't always late night taco hangs and weekend road trips to the coast. Friends can hurt you deep with words you never thought would sting. Friends can be unknowingly blunt and rude when they're being honest--but honesty shouldn't leave you wounded. I've dealt with mates that are unaware of their demeanor when we're having a conversation. My problem is: I don't speak up. I let the pain subside and they have no idea that I'm crying on the ins…

part three // abandoned prison

These past several months, I've grown to be more dauntless. I never thought I'd be one of those cool cats that experience adventures of exploring abandoned buildings and feeling the energy that was once there. I used to be such a homebody and always hoarded myself in my room, daydreaming about being more outgoing and sociable. I have surprised myself these past several months with the change in my vibe. The people I've met and the situations I've put myself in. It's exciting and different and I don't want to slow down anytime soon.
Our last spot was an abandoned prison that's gated all around with a construction company camped outside the main entrance. I didn't think we'd get to go in since the sun was setting fast. But we did and I'm glad I didn't chicken out because I got some of my favorite shots ever. Although, to get inside we had to crawl under a small space underneath a fence. I was wearing a skintight dress and booties but I said f…

part two // urban exploring

Somewhere along the coast, there's an abandoned community that used to house the Army's 7th light infantry division. A collection of empty houses with tagged up walls and floors creates a perfect spot for urban exploring. Before 1994, this place was populated with men who served our country. And now, the earth is taking back the land with overgrown fields and flowers. Walking through the streets felt eerie yet beautiful, thanks to golden hour.
Some of the quotes on the walls were very deep. Other's were funny, annoying puns or inappropriate jokes (my favorite!). I wanted to leave something personal on the walls, but couldn't think of anything at the moment. Capturing the environment was personal enough for me. There's something intimate in forgotten places. I love that energy. 


Sometimes, I wish to see something paranormal when I explore places like these.  Wait, did I just jinx myself? xx

part one // bixby bridge

A lot of things go through your mind when you sit on the edge of a bridge, watching your legs dangle off the ledge as the coastal breeze rushes up into your face. Before, when I was depressed and suicidal thoughts were a daily tendency, I thought about jumping off a bridge or a building. Feeling weightless against the surge of air as I fall faster and faster until death swallowed me whole. Whoa, that got dark fast. Lol. What I'm trying to say is that I'm blessed to still be here and to breathe in incredible views such as these and to sit on a the edge of a bridge feeling nothing but excitement and wonder. 
My friend Nick is an acrophobiac, someone that is afraid of heights. I suggested we walk the bridge; he hesitated, but conquered his fear and walked the bridge and even sat on the edge with me. "Anything for the shot" is his motto. As for me, if it puts my life in forsure danger, that is not my motto. My photography motto is more of a feeling that makes me all bub…

driving down the coast

When your friend asks you if you want to go on a photography adventure nearly 3 hours away to check out a bridge, you say FUCK YES. And when your friend also takes you urban exploring around an empty community that once housed the army, you say FUCK YEAH. But even better is when your friend takes you exploring inside an abandoned prison, you say "wait hold on, what? uh, okay?!" Lol.
A three part series of my adventures that day will be posted up by the end of the week. Stay tuned lovers! xx

it's been over a year

I never thought I would hear from you again. It had been over a year since we last spoke. The thought of you and what I felt stopped crossing my mind. So when your name flashed across my phone, I didn't know how to react--so, I laughed. Then a list of questions began forming in my mind: Why? What does he want? Does he miss me? Why the fuck? I have thought about this moment and contemplated a variety of scenarios. I never anticipated that we'd actually get to see each once more.

You always looked the same in a white tee, blue jeans, clean sneakers and a hat to match. But I almost didn't recognize you with your hair grown out. Not to mention, you wear glasses now. You looked good, more mature since your fuckboy days.

I didn't expect the night to go the way it did. I found closure a long time ago. I didn't know what I was expecting or what I wanted that night. My apologies for not being honest with you, but then fuck you for expecting me to give in. The charm of your…

self portraits x body image

It's very rare when I take self portraits; not counting selfies, of course. So when I decided to put myself in front of the camera, I knew I was going to cringe once I saw these photos. To my surprise, they turned out much better than I previously thought.
I used to take countless photos of myself when I was a prepubescent fashion blogger. That was several years ago before I became more self-conscious. My weight has always been an issue and is something that I still struggle with today. I'm learning to take better care of myself and to be happy with my curves. It doesn't help that sometimes my parents often discuss my health, narrowing down my insecurities. I remember one time, my dad said something as we were leaving for church. I can't recall exactly what he said, but it hurt so much that I decided to stay home and not attend service.
Filters are a blessing when editing, but it's never accurate to ones' true beauty. I wanted these photos to be more raw, less…

being there for others

[ I took this picture in SF on the Lands End Trail.  I asked if it was alright to take their photo and they said yes.  I think it turned out pretty righteous, don't you think? ]
This past Friday, my friend invited me to hang with her and some friends in Berkeley. I haven't been there since I saw Foster the People a few years ago at the Greek Theater. I forgot how absolutely gorgeous the town is! It was even more enchanting in the rain. Anyways, we met up with her friends from her church and attended an intimate discussion about friendship, relationships, and being there for others by listening to God. One of the speakers mentioned about speaking your truth and helping others when it's the right thing to do. There were other speakers too that had similar stories with the same energy of being a light for those who need it, providing love and support.
I didn't think that the vibe that night would resonate throughout my entire weekend.
After I got off work on Saturday, I …